First Days of India

This post is much longer than it was meant to be, I'm going to blame AIR INDIA for this.

Ok guys, so now I'm now here in India. I had possibly the worst trip to India imaginable. I landed in Dubai at midnight and had a 16 hour wait in transit for my next flight. When it came time for me to catch my flight I was informed that my Air India flight was delayed for 7.5 hours. After waiting all this time, I head to the flight info desk only to be told that there would be a further 2-hour delay. I had barely slept and was worried about falling asleep and missing my flight. I finally boarded after waiting 25.5 hours in the transit lounge to catch the 2.5-hour flight to Delhi airport. The plane was a big pile of shit and I quickly noticed that I was perhaps one of the only "white" guy on the flight. I searched my way throughout the cabin and perhaps noticed maybe a max of 1-2 others. The captain on the loud speaker apologised for the delay and informed us that he would be flying at "increased speed" to make up for it. What a joke!

At the airport, I had a feeling that more was to go wrong and I was right. My suitcase did not show up at Delhi airport and I was told they don't know where it is and they are investigating its location. I have been calling Air India since and the only information I am given is "We don't have any information at this time, call back latter". I might make the suggestion to all you now to NEVER fly Air India.

Some trendy looking Tibetan monk came to meet me at the airport. He then got me into a car and we headed off. I actually had no idea where I was going. The ride was a truly unforgettable experience, the roads of Delhi are crazy, like really crazy. The only apparent road rule I noticed was that you had to keep beeping your horn as much as possible. You would think there was some kind of prize for who could do it the most. A lot of the time there are no lanes and when there are, the motorist simply ignore them. I carefully observed my driver and noticed that he did not use his blinker even once. From time to time traffic would get blocked as cows, goats and people would casually just make there way onto the road. At major intersections you could occasionally find "Delhi Traffic Police" buildings. These were often a little hut made out of scrap rusty sheet iron with some traffic officer out the front in a deck chair usually sleeping.

After about one hour in the car I arrive at a Tibetan Refugee Camp on the outskirts of Delhi. The only way to describe this place was intense and I learned that this is the place were I would be staying for the next few nights. The place was not so bad though. During meal times, I from time to time eat with Tibetan Monks (who are not Vegetarians) who give me advice about India and seem to have an answer to any possible question you can come up with. During lunch today all the power cut out and the room was filled with darkness, I was told by one of them this happens from time to time and we both burst out into laughter. There are not too many westerners where I am and there is definitely a bit of a culture shock going on but despite this, I actually feel very safe where I am. There are however bells, drums and chanting that seem to go on all over the place from time to time and this can make sleeping difficult. This morning I woke to the sound of someone ringing a Tibetan Meditation bell and chanting somewhere near my room, this went on for at least 2 hours.

In the morning I decided to go out beyond the confines of the camp I was in. I was constantly hassled by people offering taxi services. In the attempt to avoid the numerous bikes, cars, people and goats, I shortly noticed that I had stepped in a pile of shit! Fuck! I tried to get as much as I could off my shoe and kept walking. I noticed that outside the colony there was shit almost everywhere so I found myself having the pleasure of negotiating my way passed the heavy passing by of bicycles and the numerous piles of shit. I decided very quickly it was best not to walk to much further outside of the colony and so headed back inside.

In the afternoon I was told my bag had arrived at the airport and that I was required to come and collect it in person. I had a taxi and driver arranged for me and I made my 45min ride to the airport. With the taxi driver waiting for me, I found the Air India office and expected to have my bag within no time. I was wrong. What appears to have been a relatively simple procedure was inflated by shear Indian Bureaucracy. To give you an idea, let me give you an idea of exactly what I had to do to collect my bag.

Indian Bag Collecting Bureaucracy

1) Wait in queue (if you could call it a queue) at the Air India office and present passport, lost baggage report, and airline tickets.

2) Fill out "collection of baggage" report.

3) Have the Air India office check and sign that you have filled out the form properly.

4) Bring the competed form to the airport manager (at the opposite side of the airport) to see if you qualify for security access to customs area. [Note: there was a guard with a mounted machine gun surround by a sand bagged wall outside the airport managers office... I have no idea why]

5) Pass into another office where your application for security access is processed and special access form is filled out.

6) Return back to airport managers office and have him sign your security pass.

7) Enter arrivals area and have police officer at the entrance look at your pass and wait to be granted access.

8) Pass another security checkpoint in customs area where my passport is analysed and further access is granted.

9) Find "Mishandled baggage" office (there are no signs) and line up in a queue again in order to have your request processed.

10) Line up in a queue in the warehouse office, have your request processed and put into some book, sign book and then pay a FEE for having your baggage stored.

11) Wait for someone to show and take you to the warehouse.

12) Hand over your documents to the warehouse manager and wait for your baggage.

13) Go through customs again and have your baggage X rayed.

14) Fill out a form which declares exactly ALL the contents, quantity and price in Indian Rupees!!! Of everything in your bag.

15) Have your completed report stamped by the X ray officer (the x ray officer had mysteriously disappeared for some reason, and I couldn't do anything until I found him)

16) Return to the "Mishandled baggage" office AGAIN, queue up and have them record that you have received your baggage.

17) Pass through customs and show them you have completed all your forms.

18) Return to Air India office, fill out form declaring all the damages you have suffered due to your bag being lost.

19) My bag was damaged so I had to fill out a separate damage report.

20) Wait about 10min for my bag to be assessed and then told that it is not damaged sufficiently enough to be entitled for compensation.

21) Sign form which accepts there very generous 600 Indian Rupee compensation (equivalent to about $ 17 Australian Dollars)

22) Pay to call my taxi driver and arrange for him to meet him and take me back to my hostel. - Cost of Taxi, 750 Rupees

In total, it took me 4 hours to collect ONE bag from Delhi airport. I spoke with an American who was also lining up for her bag and she told me that NO ONE on her AIR INDIA flight received their baggage upon arrival in Delhi. Did mention somewhere never to fly Air India? Please take my advice.

I am now back at my hostel writing this and despite all the problems with getting here this place is perhaps the most intensely interesting place I have been so far on my travels. It is going to take me a while to get used to India but I am really looking forward to learn more about it. I just hope I don't have to fill out any more forms for a while.

(This guy was not quite as excited as I was about having this photo taken)

Italy Wins the World Cup!!!! and I was there!!!!

Yo yo bitches, here is a bit of news from the north of Italy. Somehow I managed to fluke being in the country that won the world cup. Now whether you think Italy deserved to win or not, I must say, being in a country while it wins the world cup is something of a unique experience. This email will focus mainly on the interesting experience I had watching Italy win the world cup, so if you are interested and have the time read on, if not I have included a very brief summery at the bottom of this page.

Watching the soccer – Italian style

I have never watched a soccer game in a plaza packed full of crazy fanatical soccer fans. I don't think most people would find standing for 2 hours in an overcrowded space trying to watch giant screen while the people all around you continually wave flags, swear, jump around, move, push etc a particularly comfortable experience. This however was the very situation I managed to find myself in on the 9 ^th of July. Aside from lack of comfort these are also not the ideal conditions for a sports fan to view a game, as with all the stuff going on around you the game itself becomes rather difficult to watch. One thing I do know for a fact however is if you were in the situation I was in you will know exactly when your team has scored.... and one sure way of telling is by accessing the amount of beer that has landed on you.

Perhaps I should clarify this point a bit better. Imagine being in an overcrowded space full of people that are nervously holding and drinking beer. Now imagine that at some random unexpected point in time all these people start jumping up and down repeatedly in a crazed frenzy. Now you don't need a degree in physics to picture what all this beer is doing during this period – yes that's right, it goes straight up in the air and lands on absolutely everybody. This usually means that something good has happened in the game, you may not know exactly what has happened, but you WILL know that something happened.

I am convinced that the people furthest away from the screen had no idea whatsoever as to what's going on in the game. I was not so far from the screen and even I had trouble knowing what was going on from time to time. In fact I don't think people towards back of the crowed even watched the game, they just seemed to drink beer and react to whatever went on in front of them. When the French scored that penalty kick everyone in the crowed thought that he had missed the goal and yes... beer started flying everywhere and everyone was celebrating like crazy. The people in the front stopped when they found out that it was actually a goal but at this point I turned and looked behind me and everyone was still going absolutely ballistic, setting off fireworks, lighting flares, waving flags. I kind of felt sorry for them... It took them about a minute or two before they realized that they had nothing to celebrate.

Now if you don't know how to swear in Italian one of the best learning methods I could suggest is to be amongst a large number of Italians while Italy is in the midst of a penalty shootout for the world cup. Here you will hear some of the most creative, colourful and expressive use of the Italian language you could possibly imagine... and if they should win the penalty shoot out (as in the case I found myself in) I can assure you that you will not be able to understand a thing. You will however know exactly if the team has won so be prepared to both dance and pretend/attempt to sing among strangers in a foreign language, and also be sure to protect your digital camera from all the flying projectiles, beer and who knows what else went flying through the air in that crazy mess of a moment..

One big Party - and Everyone's invited

In the chaos that followed the win I had lost the people I was watching the game with so I began wandering around the streets soaking up the atmosphere. I happened to walked pass one Italian supporter who had passed out on a street corner from drinking too much. He would have had to have drunk a lot because I don't think it would be possible to sleep with the amount of noise that was going on all around him. "The poor bastard doesn't even know Italy won". I laughed thinking to myself. It looked as though the party had ended for that guy but for everyone else it had just begun.

Everywhere you went was a party, and a big one. I started moving around the bars I knew to see if I could find someone I knew, it didn't really matter if I did or not because everyone everywhere was in the mood to dance around, sing and basically act like an idiot. While I was in a bar on the outer part of the town someone I know sends me a message saying that I really need to come to a place called Monte Berico because there is a massive party happening there. Just so you know, Monte Berico is a place on top of a mountain nearby town. Anyway, I went. I don't actually know how long it took me to get there, it didn't really matter because there was a party happening the entire way there. People later thought I was crazy going to this mountain party by foot but if you saw the state the roads were in I can assure you that you could almost certainly get to the top of the mountain quicker by walking.

Speaking of roads, the roads could best be described as total chaos. Movement was almost at a complete standstill. Fortunately, no body seemed to care too much. I noticed the road was clogged not only with cars and bikes but also trucks, tractors and also even farming and industrial equipment. It seemed to be a case of "the bigger the better" and it looked as though anything that could move (no matter how slowly) was decorated with Italian flags and driven around in an attempt to create the greatest amount of traffic congestion possible.

The party on the mountain was pretty hectic. But so was the party going on everywhere. When I eventually came down from the mountain I met up with some people I watched the Australia-Italy game with. They were really happy to see "that crazy Australian guy" and they proceeded recite all the English swear words I had previously taught them. The street they were in was one of the main streets whereby cars could exit the city centre. This turned out to be a problem for anyone trying to actually leave the centre of town by car. This is because every car that attempted to leave the city was first road blocked by a mass of drunken Italians, whom then proceeded to cover the car in flags and shake it repeatedly from side to side before letting the car pass through. At one stage a truck passed through and yes, everyone still tried to shake it, unsuccessfully I might add, however it was fun watching drunk people try and shake a truck with their hands. I tried to purchase a beer from the nearby local bar only to find out that they had run out of beer!!! I have never experienced this before in my life. All they had left was cheep shitty stuff that tasted like dirty cask wine. It was good enough for me though. After a while (about 3am) the bars started to close, most likely because they had all run out of alcohol, so I decided to head back into the city centre.

Fuck the police

When I had got to the centre I noticed that riot police began to arrive in the main square. "Wow, cool... riot police" I thought to myself. I started taking photos of them and one of them got the shits with me, grabbed me and started talking to me in some dialect of Italian that I did not understand a word of. In this moment some Huge dude from the crowd steps in between us pushes the police officer away from me and begins arguing with the police dude. What they were talking about I have no idea but whatever the problem the police had with me seemed to have been resolved by that big dude. The dude then started saying something to me in Italian which I did not understand but I thanked him nonetheless for saving me from the police and went about my merry way. Once the police started moving around town people started heading home and the party began to die down. Only the really die hard drunk Italian fans remained in the streets and I'm sure the police were mobilizing to clamp down on them. Not wanting to be involved with the police anymore, it was then that I decided to head home.

An American Tourist

I later met and spoke to an American tourist whom, in typical American fashion, had never heard about the world cup. She told me she was in her hotel room and absolutely frightened when everyone started gathering into the streets late at night with flags, shouting and singing things in Italian. She thought some kind of revolution was going on. I found this completely hilarious.

(Very Brief) Summary

* Team score goal = beer go everywhere (remember this. It could be important one day)

* Don't drive cars around crazy soccer fans in Italy.

* Don't take photos of riot police... they don't like it and they have big sticks

* Americans are amusing

(YAY.. now we all have an excuse to get drunk and act like idiots)

Italy and an Australian

Italy is interesting as usual. I met a married couple, and they have been taking me out buying me drinks and ice-cream and stuff just because I am from Australia. Its crazy... all they want to do is talk about Australia and they are prepared to buy me stuff and spend time with me just to hear me talk about it.

People have no idea about Australia over here... I got asked the other day "which part of Australia is playing in the world cup?" people don't believe me when I tell them that Australia is only one country... they just don't get it. Also I put up an Australian flag outside my appartment for the world cup. While i was putting it up my neighbour asked me why i was putting the AMERICAN FLAG up!!!! WTF?

When Australia beat Japan in the world cup I was like the only Australian around... I went bike riding through the center of town (quite drunk) with a giant Australian flag tied around me like a cape. I was causing traffic hazards and shit (it was quite dangerous now that I think about it). Every now and then I would stop in a bar, talk about Australia, have a drink, and then kept riding. My uncle was driving a taxi around and he says heaps of people were talking about this crazy guy with a flag going around the town center... maybe I am crazy. Anyway this other guy I know said he is looking for a pair of Australian swimmers to buy for me to run through the town center if Australia wins again... he hasn't found them yet... I think this is a good thing.